Don't hate me because I'm the last person that can talk about correction but I'm trying to help so please don't hurt me lol. Is this the one you were trying to get done but was having a hard time on?
"It was as he was crossing the interior courtyard that he was realized what..."
Take the 3rd was out.
"The woman dropped a quickly curtsy."
Quick.
"on the floor nearer the fire,"
I think near sounds better but that's just my opinion.
"he was please to"
Pleased ;)
I really like it but Stephenie Meyers runined the classic vampire for me. I can never look at them the same. Damn her! But I really like the story and wished there was more lol. You torture me so.
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Date: 2008-11-04 05:17 am (UTC)"It was as he was crossing the interior courtyard that he was realized what..."
Take the 3rd was out.
"The woman dropped a quickly curtsy."
Quick.
"on the floor nearer the fire,"
I think near sounds better but that's just my opinion.
"he was please to"
Pleased ;)
I really like it but Stephenie Meyers runined the classic vampire for me. I can never look at them the same. Damn her! But I really like the story and wished there was more lol. You torture me so.