98* Fic "Ghosts"
Jun. 18th, 2006 03:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
raynedanserwritesMANY thanks to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bayouskye and msktrnanny for helping me finish this up! :-D
The long driveway meandered through an overgrown field, ending at the front of a low rambling house. It was the house’s sense of sprawl that had attracted him to it in the beginning. The side porch overlooked a narrow strip of faded green grass, which led down to the beach. The best part of all, though, was how far away from everything and everyone it was. The only sounds here were the waves crashing into the beach. No city noises. No car horns, radios blaring, or sirens wailing.
Nick tapped his fingers in a random rhythm against the steering wheel as he drove around the last bend. Before the driveway came to an end, it swept across the front of the home. He shut off the engine and sat there, relaxing and watching. The plants that grew outside the house danced gently in the breezes, swaying lightly to and fro. He smiled as the tension finally drained away. He pulled the key free of the ignition, grabbed the paper sack of perishables from the passenger seat, and got out of the car.
The previous weekend, he’d come armed with cleaning supplies and pantry items. He’d spent the weekend cleaning, scrubbing and dusting until his back ached. He’d stocked up on non-perishables, linens, and other household items and had spent an afternoon getting everything unpacked. In the end, the house was there, waiting for him.
Sudden snapping startled Nick and he jumped at the sound, focusing on the fingers right in front of his face. He looked past the fingers to the face behind them and blinked at blue-grey eyes.
“Earth to Nick. Anybody in there? Are we going in so you can offer me a beer or are you going to make me wait outside all afternoon?”
“Hey man. I didn’t hear you pull up,” Nick answered finally. At the last minute, he’d called Jeff, figuring on a guys’ weekend of wieners, burgers and beer.
“I know. I’ve been standing behind you for five minutes.” He paused to heft the bag that was slung over his shoulder higher.
Nick smiled. “Well come on then. Let’s get inside so we can get you that beer.” Gravel crunched lightly under their feet as they walked toward the house, then Nick paused again and half turned. “Hey Jeff?”
Jeff paused mid-stride. “Yeah man.”
“Thanks.”
Jeff nodded. “Yeah man.”
****
Inside, the house was stuffy after being kept closed all week. Nick walked around the living room and opened the large windows. The front and back walls both had windows that pulled a terrific cross-breeze through the spacious room. The floors were covered in red oak planks, the walls were painted a soft white, and dark hemlock cross-beams divided the ceiling. One side-wall was dominated by a large stone fireplace.
“Where do you want me?” Jeff asked from where he stood in the middle of the room. He still had one large bag slung over his shoulder; another was on the floor next to his feet.
Nick chuckled and bit back the first answer that popped into his head. “Are you planning on moving in?” he asked as he crossed the room. Behind Jeff was a hall that led to the bedrooms. “There are only two bedrooms and the bathroom is between them,” he said over his shoulder. He slid open another window as he walked by. “You get the first bedroom,” he continued. He stopped at the door and bumped it open with his foot. “Kitchen is at the other end. Come find me when you’re settled in and I’ll get you that beer.”
Nick opened the last window in the hall and the ones in his room. It was another spacious room with more red oak floors and natural colors. The wall facing the ocean was floor to ceiling windows with a pair of sliding glass doors in the center. They opened onto a stone patio. Back in the kitchen, he opened the window over the sink then took two beers from the fridge and popped them open. He set one on the counter, the other he took a long pull off.
When Jeff finally joined him, his hair was slicked back, still damp from his shower. Nick handed him a beer. “Come on. I know where there’s a couple of lawn chairs with our names on them. I’m going to go sit and not move until my ass goes numb.”
“Or you get chewed alive by the bugs,” Jeff added as he took the beer from Nick and took a quick drink. “Lead the way.”
Luckily for them, the bugs were kept to a minimum by the strong breeze off the water. Nick settled into a lounge chair with a thick cushion. He stretched his long legs out in front him as he watched the sun’s reflection off the water as it set. Jeff slouched in a nearby chair, his brow furrowed in concentration as he pulled the label off his beer in careful strips. Nick knew without looking that Jeff was chewing on his lower lip as he pulled the paper off.
“Where are the kids?” Nick asked.
Jeff looked up in surprise, hand paused mid-tear. “With their mom for a few weeks. Perfect timing.” He pulled off the last bit of paper and held up a perfectly naked bottle. He waved it around, indicating the yard. “It’s a bit remote, isn’t it?” he asked.
Nick sighed. He’d known this was coming, wondered when it was going to be brought up. He thought of a several different answers and finally settled on, “It’s a nice change.”
Jeff nodded and they slipped into comfortable silence again. Then, “You planning to hide here permanently?”
Nick shrugged and stared out at the water. “Be kind of hard with a new cd to promote and a tour to plan.”
“That it would.” Jeff twisted around on his chair to face Nick. “The cd is good, Nick.”
“Thanks.” Nick finished the last of his beer, dangled the bottle between his fingers a moment before letting it fall to the stone pavers that made up the patio. It clinked and rattled before finally settling somewhere beneath him.
“Nick - ” Jeff started.
Something in his voice made Nick jerk his head up to look at Jeff. He raised an eyebrow as he waited for Jeff to continue.
“It’s really good,” Jeff finally settled on.
Nick sat and rested his elbows on his knees. He waited a moment, watching Jeff watch him. Wondered what it was that Jeff had almost said. “It’s been a long week. I’m going to head in for the night,” Nick said when it was clear that Jeff wasn’t going to say anything else.
Nick stood and squeezed Jeff’s shoulder on his way by before going back inside. He showered quickly and tugged on a pair faded sweats before flopping onto his bed, waiting for sleep. Instead, he listened as Jeff quietly came inside and locked things up. He wasn’t sure, but he thought Jeff may have paused just outside his bedroom door. It was only a few minutes until the house was quiet again.
*****
Nick waited until he was pretty sure that Jeff was asleep, and then got out of bed. He kneeled at the bed’s edge, pulled a shoe box from underneath, and shook its contents a little. He ignored the feeling in his stomach – an odd combination of nervousness and something he couldn’t quite name – and walked quietly to the living room.
This. This was why he had been so glad to see the fireplace, he told himself. He grabbed some newspaper from the nearby wood box and crumpled it up, tossing it haphazardly into the fireplace. There was some dried kindling and he tossed that in too, then felt around until he found the lighter he’d left the week before.
It didn’t take long for the fire to cast an eerie glow across the room. Nick sat in front of it, staring at the flames as they licked the stones. Without taking his eyes from the fire, he opened the box and pulled out the top item. A photograph and he tried not to stare at it, think about the whom and the what and anything surrounding it before he tossed it into the fire and watched the flames curl and blacken the edges. He did this over and over again, tossing pictures and watching the paper curl.
“Hey,” Jeff said quietly as he settled on the floor next to Nick.
Nick nodded and tossed another photo onto the fire. Fiji. Lots of smiles and laughter. He forced himself to look away from the smiling faces from so long ago and looked at Jeff instead.
“Hey yourself.”
“Nick, it’s - ” Jeff paused to look at his watch. “ - two in the morning. What are you doing?”
Toss. “Ghosts,” Nick said quietly.
“Ghosts?” Jeff repeated.
Toss. “Yeah. I’m – clearing my head?” Nick tried to explain. He stopped when strong fingers curled around his wrist and looked up into Jeff’s eyes. The fire cast odd shadows across Jeff’s face, making it seem more angular than usual, his eyes a darker grayish blue.
“It takes more than a fire to chase the ghosts away, Nick,” Jeff whispered.
Nick swallowed and looked at where Jeff still held his wrist, wondering when the fire had left the fireplace and jumped into Jeff. “I – I know. But this is a good start.”
Jeff released Nick’s wrist, flattened his palm on the floor next to Nick’s knee. “There’s other ways.”
“Yeah? Like what?”
Jeff leaned forward. “Like this,” he whispered just before lightly brushing his lips over Nick’s. He touched his fingertips to Nick’s jaw, deepening the kiss for only a moment before pulling back. “I’m going back to bed. Try not to stay up too late chasing demons. I’ll see you in the morning.” He stood, placed a quick kiss on Nick’s head, and disappeared into the shadows.
Nick waited until he could hear Jeff snoring before going back to bed. When the sun beat in through the windows on the front of the house, Nick realized he’d forgotten curtains, swore and vowed to get them before the day was out. Waking up when he felt like he’d only just gotten to sleep was all kinds of wrong.
But he smelled coffee and Nick slowly stumbled his way to the kitchen, still trying to wipe sleep crud from his eyes. He found Jeff at the stove, spatula in hand, a pair of frying pans in front of him. Jeff waved the spatula at a steaming mug on the counter, which Nick picked up gratefully.
“Thanks,” Nick mumbled into the cup as he took a sip. He slid on to a bar stool on the opposite side of the island and eyed the food warily. “Since when do you cook?”
Jeff flipped the food over in their pans before filling both plates and passing one to Nick. “Since your ass was still in bed snoring and I was hungry,” he commented as he handed Nick a fork.
Nick leaned one elbow on the counter, scooping food into his mouth. “I’m impressed, it’s actually pretty good,” he teased. “The eggs are done and not burned and still a bit runny just the way - ”
“You like them. I know. Nick, you’re rambling,” Jeff said as he slid off his stool.
“Yeah.” Nick swallowed. “You kissed me last night.”
Jeff took a step closer. He turned Nick and stood between his knees, then braced his hands on the counter. “I did, didn’t I?” he asked quietly. He dipped his head down, kissed Nick again. Quick. Brief. Just the barest brush of his lips over Nick’s. “We’ve done this before, Nick,” he whispered.
“It’s been a long time. We were kids.”
“We’re not kids now.” Another kiss, a little deeper this time.
“Jeff - ”
“Nick, we’re not kids. We know what we’re doing this time.” Hands on Nick’s knees, Jeff’s eyes meeting and holding his own steadily.
“We do, don’t we?” Nick asked before he slid forward on the stool, forcing Jeff to back up a half-step. His hands slid under the loose material of Jeff’s tee shirt and he pulled Jeff close. He kissed him, deeper still, a little rougher, and pulled a growl from Jeff that was deeper than anything Nick had ever heard from him. “It’s going to be complicated,” Nick whispered.
“We’ve had more complicated. This is a cake walk. Nick – we can do this. We deserve this.”
Jeff was right. Nick knew he was. And he smiled his first real smile in a very long time.
bayouskye and msktrnanny for helping me finish this up! :-DThe long driveway meandered through an overgrown field, ending at the front of a low rambling house. It was the house’s sense of sprawl that had attracted him to it in the beginning. The side porch overlooked a narrow strip of faded green grass, which led down to the beach. The best part of all, though, was how far away from everything and everyone it was. The only sounds here were the waves crashing into the beach. No city noises. No car horns, radios blaring, or sirens wailing.
Nick tapped his fingers in a random rhythm against the steering wheel as he drove around the last bend. Before the driveway came to an end, it swept across the front of the home. He shut off the engine and sat there, relaxing and watching. The plants that grew outside the house danced gently in the breezes, swaying lightly to and fro. He smiled as the tension finally drained away. He pulled the key free of the ignition, grabbed the paper sack of perishables from the passenger seat, and got out of the car.
The previous weekend, he’d come armed with cleaning supplies and pantry items. He’d spent the weekend cleaning, scrubbing and dusting until his back ached. He’d stocked up on non-perishables, linens, and other household items and had spent an afternoon getting everything unpacked. In the end, the house was there, waiting for him.
Sudden snapping startled Nick and he jumped at the sound, focusing on the fingers right in front of his face. He looked past the fingers to the face behind them and blinked at blue-grey eyes.
“Earth to Nick. Anybody in there? Are we going in so you can offer me a beer or are you going to make me wait outside all afternoon?”
“Hey man. I didn’t hear you pull up,” Nick answered finally. At the last minute, he’d called Jeff, figuring on a guys’ weekend of wieners, burgers and beer.
“I know. I’ve been standing behind you for five minutes.” He paused to heft the bag that was slung over his shoulder higher.
Nick smiled. “Well come on then. Let’s get inside so we can get you that beer.” Gravel crunched lightly under their feet as they walked toward the house, then Nick paused again and half turned. “Hey Jeff?”
Jeff paused mid-stride. “Yeah man.”
“Thanks.”
Jeff nodded. “Yeah man.”
****
Inside, the house was stuffy after being kept closed all week. Nick walked around the living room and opened the large windows. The front and back walls both had windows that pulled a terrific cross-breeze through the spacious room. The floors were covered in red oak planks, the walls were painted a soft white, and dark hemlock cross-beams divided the ceiling. One side-wall was dominated by a large stone fireplace.
“Where do you want me?” Jeff asked from where he stood in the middle of the room. He still had one large bag slung over his shoulder; another was on the floor next to his feet.
Nick chuckled and bit back the first answer that popped into his head. “Are you planning on moving in?” he asked as he crossed the room. Behind Jeff was a hall that led to the bedrooms. “There are only two bedrooms and the bathroom is between them,” he said over his shoulder. He slid open another window as he walked by. “You get the first bedroom,” he continued. He stopped at the door and bumped it open with his foot. “Kitchen is at the other end. Come find me when you’re settled in and I’ll get you that beer.”
Nick opened the last window in the hall and the ones in his room. It was another spacious room with more red oak floors and natural colors. The wall facing the ocean was floor to ceiling windows with a pair of sliding glass doors in the center. They opened onto a stone patio. Back in the kitchen, he opened the window over the sink then took two beers from the fridge and popped them open. He set one on the counter, the other he took a long pull off.
When Jeff finally joined him, his hair was slicked back, still damp from his shower. Nick handed him a beer. “Come on. I know where there’s a couple of lawn chairs with our names on them. I’m going to go sit and not move until my ass goes numb.”
“Or you get chewed alive by the bugs,” Jeff added as he took the beer from Nick and took a quick drink. “Lead the way.”
Luckily for them, the bugs were kept to a minimum by the strong breeze off the water. Nick settled into a lounge chair with a thick cushion. He stretched his long legs out in front him as he watched the sun’s reflection off the water as it set. Jeff slouched in a nearby chair, his brow furrowed in concentration as he pulled the label off his beer in careful strips. Nick knew without looking that Jeff was chewing on his lower lip as he pulled the paper off.
“Where are the kids?” Nick asked.
Jeff looked up in surprise, hand paused mid-tear. “With their mom for a few weeks. Perfect timing.” He pulled off the last bit of paper and held up a perfectly naked bottle. He waved it around, indicating the yard. “It’s a bit remote, isn’t it?” he asked.
Nick sighed. He’d known this was coming, wondered when it was going to be brought up. He thought of a several different answers and finally settled on, “It’s a nice change.”
Jeff nodded and they slipped into comfortable silence again. Then, “You planning to hide here permanently?”
Nick shrugged and stared out at the water. “Be kind of hard with a new cd to promote and a tour to plan.”
“That it would.” Jeff twisted around on his chair to face Nick. “The cd is good, Nick.”
“Thanks.” Nick finished the last of his beer, dangled the bottle between his fingers a moment before letting it fall to the stone pavers that made up the patio. It clinked and rattled before finally settling somewhere beneath him.
“Nick - ” Jeff started.
Something in his voice made Nick jerk his head up to look at Jeff. He raised an eyebrow as he waited for Jeff to continue.
“It’s really good,” Jeff finally settled on.
Nick sat and rested his elbows on his knees. He waited a moment, watching Jeff watch him. Wondered what it was that Jeff had almost said. “It’s been a long week. I’m going to head in for the night,” Nick said when it was clear that Jeff wasn’t going to say anything else.
Nick stood and squeezed Jeff’s shoulder on his way by before going back inside. He showered quickly and tugged on a pair faded sweats before flopping onto his bed, waiting for sleep. Instead, he listened as Jeff quietly came inside and locked things up. He wasn’t sure, but he thought Jeff may have paused just outside his bedroom door. It was only a few minutes until the house was quiet again.
*****
Nick waited until he was pretty sure that Jeff was asleep, and then got out of bed. He kneeled at the bed’s edge, pulled a shoe box from underneath, and shook its contents a little. He ignored the feeling in his stomach – an odd combination of nervousness and something he couldn’t quite name – and walked quietly to the living room.
This. This was why he had been so glad to see the fireplace, he told himself. He grabbed some newspaper from the nearby wood box and crumpled it up, tossing it haphazardly into the fireplace. There was some dried kindling and he tossed that in too, then felt around until he found the lighter he’d left the week before.
It didn’t take long for the fire to cast an eerie glow across the room. Nick sat in front of it, staring at the flames as they licked the stones. Without taking his eyes from the fire, he opened the box and pulled out the top item. A photograph and he tried not to stare at it, think about the whom and the what and anything surrounding it before he tossed it into the fire and watched the flames curl and blacken the edges. He did this over and over again, tossing pictures and watching the paper curl.
“Hey,” Jeff said quietly as he settled on the floor next to Nick.
Nick nodded and tossed another photo onto the fire. Fiji. Lots of smiles and laughter. He forced himself to look away from the smiling faces from so long ago and looked at Jeff instead.
“Hey yourself.”
“Nick, it’s - ” Jeff paused to look at his watch. “ - two in the morning. What are you doing?”
Toss. “Ghosts,” Nick said quietly.
“Ghosts?” Jeff repeated.
Toss. “Yeah. I’m – clearing my head?” Nick tried to explain. He stopped when strong fingers curled around his wrist and looked up into Jeff’s eyes. The fire cast odd shadows across Jeff’s face, making it seem more angular than usual, his eyes a darker grayish blue.
“It takes more than a fire to chase the ghosts away, Nick,” Jeff whispered.
Nick swallowed and looked at where Jeff still held his wrist, wondering when the fire had left the fireplace and jumped into Jeff. “I – I know. But this is a good start.”
Jeff released Nick’s wrist, flattened his palm on the floor next to Nick’s knee. “There’s other ways.”
“Yeah? Like what?”
Jeff leaned forward. “Like this,” he whispered just before lightly brushing his lips over Nick’s. He touched his fingertips to Nick’s jaw, deepening the kiss for only a moment before pulling back. “I’m going back to bed. Try not to stay up too late chasing demons. I’ll see you in the morning.” He stood, placed a quick kiss on Nick’s head, and disappeared into the shadows.
Nick waited until he could hear Jeff snoring before going back to bed. When the sun beat in through the windows on the front of the house, Nick realized he’d forgotten curtains, swore and vowed to get them before the day was out. Waking up when he felt like he’d only just gotten to sleep was all kinds of wrong.
But he smelled coffee and Nick slowly stumbled his way to the kitchen, still trying to wipe sleep crud from his eyes. He found Jeff at the stove, spatula in hand, a pair of frying pans in front of him. Jeff waved the spatula at a steaming mug on the counter, which Nick picked up gratefully.
“Thanks,” Nick mumbled into the cup as he took a sip. He slid on to a bar stool on the opposite side of the island and eyed the food warily. “Since when do you cook?”
Jeff flipped the food over in their pans before filling both plates and passing one to Nick. “Since your ass was still in bed snoring and I was hungry,” he commented as he handed Nick a fork.
Nick leaned one elbow on the counter, scooping food into his mouth. “I’m impressed, it’s actually pretty good,” he teased. “The eggs are done and not burned and still a bit runny just the way - ”
“You like them. I know. Nick, you’re rambling,” Jeff said as he slid off his stool.
“Yeah.” Nick swallowed. “You kissed me last night.”
Jeff took a step closer. He turned Nick and stood between his knees, then braced his hands on the counter. “I did, didn’t I?” he asked quietly. He dipped his head down, kissed Nick again. Quick. Brief. Just the barest brush of his lips over Nick’s. “We’ve done this before, Nick,” he whispered.
“It’s been a long time. We were kids.”
“We’re not kids now.” Another kiss, a little deeper this time.
“Jeff - ”
“Nick, we’re not kids. We know what we’re doing this time.” Hands on Nick’s knees, Jeff’s eyes meeting and holding his own steadily.
“We do, don’t we?” Nick asked before he slid forward on the stool, forcing Jeff to back up a half-step. His hands slid under the loose material of Jeff’s tee shirt and he pulled Jeff close. He kissed him, deeper still, a little rougher, and pulled a growl from Jeff that was deeper than anything Nick had ever heard from him. “It’s going to be complicated,” Nick whispered.
“We’ve had more complicated. This is a cake walk. Nick – we can do this. We deserve this.”
Jeff was right. Nick knew he was. And he smiled his first real smile in a very long time.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-18 08:24 pm (UTC)That was so beautiful. Fantastic job.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-18 10:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-18 08:26 pm (UTC)H/C and a little angst and beautiful men kissing and and and...
*SQUEEEEEE*
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Date: 2006-06-18 10:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-18 08:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-18 10:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-18 08:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-18 10:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-18 10:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 05:30 am (UTC)And I don't even really like 98 Degrees, heh. But Jeff & Nick are very good-looking, mmmyes.
I really like this, the emotion, the subtleties like Jeffs bags, the efforts each made to avoid acknowledging what they were feeling, then embracing it... ..all VERY well done, and evocative.
I'd love to see more of or like this, anytime you want to share it! *g*
no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 12:32 pm (UTC)And yeah, there may be more from the 'verse. Not sure. :-D
no subject
Date: 2007-05-09 07:48 pm (UTC)This is great! I love your description of the area and the house, and wow, I love Jeff and Nick's interactions. I adore the hint of what happened in the past and yeah, I'm just in awe of this. *squishes you*
no subject
Date: 2007-05-09 07:53 pm (UTC)Thanks sweetie. This is one of those fics that just totally ATE MY BRAIN. I wanted to get it just so and it sounds like I did, from what you've said. :D
no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 09:52 am (UTC)*runs to read the 2nd part*
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Date: 2007-05-10 10:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-20 03:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-20 03:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-24 03:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-24 06:36 pm (UTC)